Sigh...

Exams this Monday... But here I am blogging...

Currently loving Younha's Strawberry Days...also introduced by the same person...haha...

Sigh... What should I do? I'm totally in pain (mentally)! I'm losing something very much important to me... and how can I get it back?

I dont get it... I dont get it at all... Why? I know very well myself that the important thing I'm losing isnt worth it at all... but why am I wasting every self concious of myself insisting to get it back? (and failing...)

The part of me, the part I never knew I had, is slowly surfacing... And I'm losing my mind just wanting to get rid of it... Like my cousin said, I'm getting emo-ish-er...

My mind says this but my heart says that...

But my heart won in the end...

And I'm so F*CKED UP about it!

My normal self is fading away, and I dont like this new self of mine...in fact, I hate it...

Its ruining my life...

Wracking every part of it...

In truth, I never wanted this important thing... but as my new self approuched, it became my life...

Just one look completes my day...
Just the thought of it is enough to keep me busy...
Just dreaming of it is enough to make me happy...

But that also means...

Just one day of ignorance is able to make me want to end my entire life...
Just one glare is able to make me lose confidence of everything...
Just one turn from you is able to make me think all the negativities about myself...
Just 3 words is able to make me feel like now... and the 3 words are 'I Hate You'



God... I'm really getting emo-ish-er... sigh...